Surf v. Schuss

Most who know me know that I like to ski.  A lot.  So taking a year off of skiing hurt.  A lot.

¨It's good for you.  To take some time off is good,¨ says Kerry, twice emphasizing the word ¨good,¨ like a parent trying to sell a kid on a plate of kale and brown rice.  I´m not really sure how that could be, but I nod and I act like I know that she's right, like I've learned to do when I know something´s good for me. 

But I know better.  It´s been bad for me.  Every time I checked into the snow conditions at home, a tiny piece of my soul fell off and floated away like a melting glacier stranding my inner polar bear on a tiny piece of ice -- even if they were bad.  Actually, especially if the conditions were bad.  Suffice it to say the shift to a snowless year was not an easy one to make.  On the two occasions I felt the sting of sleet or hail this year, I was ectstatic out-of-my-head to be pinged upon all-but-briefly by the frozen version of precipitation.  It´s not healthy I know, but there are worse things to need.

If this is how you see a beach, you may have a ski problem.

Yes, I´ll admit that this is a relatively minor sacrifice.  I´m really OK with it.  It´s been better than gangrene.  And while I´ve sorely missed the winter, I have not once regretted this choice to spend a year on the equator.  It's a trade I've made willingly, and would do again in a high elevation heartbeat.  I have a bike after all.  And I do love biking, skiing's slightly less fun/more hard work cousin.

But when we had the chance to live for a few weeks in a surf town, it was clear that I'd have to give surfing a shot.  And boy did I get my gringo sombrero handed to me, even on a forgiving beach on a forgiving day.  Just like skiing, there are people who make it look just so easy -- and so fun, especially to the novice gaper who admires from the beach.

So it's not at all fair, and I am way far from qualified to make the comparisons that I am about to make.  I'm a black diamond skier and at best a green circle surfer for now.  But here -- I will indulge myself in another little excusion in the realm of hypothetical mutual exclusion, to wit: Surf v. Schuss.  Let´s assume, for argument´s sake, that the skiing we´re talking about is backcountry, earn-your-turns-style off-piste skiing.  No lift-served access to the goods, an no wave-runners towing people out -- just good ol´ masochistic fun. 

So let us begin with that: both skiing and surfing require exertion.  You need to till the soil in order to reap your bounty.  For skiing, you go up so that you can go down, often coming back by the same chute you ascendend.  For surf, you paddle your arse out so that you can ride back.  Both surf and ski conditions are variable so that heading up or out might be relatively easy.  Or it might be a real mofo.  I have seen more than a few hapless would-be wave-cowboys get bashed to bits right there on the beach because they´re trying to head out at high tide.  I have been that guy.  And having eaten my slice of humble pie and some, I have limped off the beach with a sore leg/arm/head.  So too with skiing, skills combined with conditions affect the experience.  Conditions may vary.  Once in CA, Cap´n Furthermore and Co. toiled upwards through thigh deep heavy powder for a couple of hours, only for it to be too much snow to ski!

As for the slide-media, snow obviously makes for good skiing, though the quality of the snow can differ widely, even from hour to hour.  Optional for some -- the skiing is admittedly better with more than a few inches of the good stuff, and surfing requires waves with enough force to push the rider forward.  It takes a skilled and experienced skier/rider to read the terrain/waves.  In both cases, the topography that lies beneath greatlty affects the outcome for fun-seekers on the surface.  Again, treading in ObviousLand, the steepness of the slope and the ¨features¨ under the snow shape the surface experience.  Wave-riding is more 8th grade science class: a wave breaks when its height is twice the depth, so the shape and slope of the beach -- or worse, the reef -- determines the break of the waves.  I´ve been pretty fortunate to learn in Canoa, EC where all of the waves break on sand, and the sub-surface is just a gentle slope.  

In both sports wind can be your best friend or your dreaded enemy, though the fact that wind actually makes waves gives surf the edge in the air-blown category -- though if you allow that wind moves weather in and out of your favorite ski lines, we´d have to agree that both sports are entirely wind dependent enterprises, directly and indirectly.  Wind sends the waves in from hundreds of miles off the coast, which gives surfing the edge in the existential philosophy department.  It´s cool to paddle into the energy of a wave that´s travelled a bazillion miles from the first flap of a butterfly´s wings to give you a gnarly sesh.  But wind on shore can create chop, which affects the waves coming in adversely.  So a calm day with big waves is ideal.  A couple of days ago, I surfed some ¨clean¨ waves, and was amazed at the difference.  Like slashing fresh powder, it´s hard to beat the optimum conditions, and if you´re like me, once you hit it on a peak day -- and you get your mojo working at the same time -- the hook is in, and you´re all done.*

As far as aesthetics, it's always something to witness a master at work in any eneavor.  As for surf'n and skiin', you can do that more easily with surfers, unless you're watching the ski comp on TV.  In both athletic realms, more importantly, it's about carving smooth lines.  My friend Professor Duffy astutely points out that the history of your ski line is immediately visible in the frozen medium.  Not so in the ephemeral surf, where your tracks are snuffed out almost as soon as they're made.  A clean set of lines or 8s in the snow is a work of art, but it's also an indicator of the snow quality or the stability of the snowpack.  Skiing gets the clear edge here for post athletic-aesthetics, as well as safety record for a slope. 

Both sports feature people upright on boards, although in surfing you start out horizontal, get vertical, and then most likely go horizontal again -- or you get thrashed by the spin-cycle, in which case you´re happy when you´re back on that board.  In skiing, you start and end vertically, though there are often a few horizontal interludes, with an occasional ragdoll yardsale, in which case, you may happily recollect your belongings once the world stops spinning and you´ve regained your verticality.  It's also worth noting that you'll never cross your surf boards, though in each medium, you can bury a tip/tips and go flying.  Always better to keep those tips up.

The two pastimes also require wax on these boards. For surfing, the wax is applied to the top in order to stick and stay (ideally) in one place, wheras with schuss-centered sports, a wax is applied to the bottom of boards in order to reduce the effects of friction.  For skiing, you need several kinds of wax, depending on the temperature.  For surf, you choose the color and the brand.  Mr. Zogg´s Sex Wax (tm) T-shirts were really, really cool in high school in the 80s.  When feathering my hair and donning my checkered vans, I did not forsee my 42 year-old self using surf wax (let alone knowing what it´s for), nor did I see gobs of it becoming entangled in my chest hair.  For this, I have to give the edge to skiing in the wax deprartment since no chest hair is involved at all, at least it´s not required.**

But It´s pretty easy to tell which sport requires less stuff: beach bums take this department by a wide margin.  Surfing requires one board, some shorts which are optional though recommended, probably a rash guard and some wax -- get that, and you´re all set, brah.***  The list for skiing equipment would require a scroll used to chart Japanese ancestry back to the first Shogunates. 

One thing I have to give skiing is that you can carry snacks with you.  And beers.  Then again, you don´t worry about your beers freezing solid when you´re chilling in the Surf Shak with a cold one.  If you want to take a break from surfing, you have to get to shore, esentially stopping the activity.  Then again, you don´t have take boots off to warm your toes on a fire.  I guess that´s another draw in the accessories catagory, with simplicity cancelling out luxury.

One thing that I have to put clearly into the ski column is that you are not likely to be chomped on by a shark while skiing.  To be sure, there are plenty of dangers on snow.  Take your pick: hypothermia, avalanche, tree-well, snow-snake, rabid wolf packs, blisters the size of pancakes... But you can rest assured that you will not be shark-bait.   Nor will you bleed to death or drown after a Great White samples the seal-looking thing flapping around on the surface and decides it´s too gamey or rubbery.  No drowning, jellyfish stings, nor reef raking.  All that said, I´ll bet that the mortality rate for skiers is higher, maybe since more people do it.  I base this assertion, by the way, on absolutely nothing.  Another zero sum.

Which requires more effort?  Being half the expert, it´s hard to say, but I know I'm expending more energy than I need to at this stage in the game.  That said, I´ll give it a draw in this department as well.  Or at least the apples and oranges toss-off.  BC skiing is as hard as you want to make it on the climb.  If you´re laying a skin track in powder, give yourself a triple bonus -- especially if it´s witch-tit cold.  But hitting laps on a bluebird day, that´s like a leisure stroll in the park.  Skiing is a long distance run, and surfing is a bunch of sprints -- though you can take as many breaks as you like with either.  And again, it depends on the conditions.  And here in Canoa, you can just walk out to chest-deep waters and saddle up.  In all though, a surfer definitely has to be more fit whereas a skier can or might be more (or less) fit.

Finally, which sport has a bigger payoff?  Which one sets the endorphins and adrenaline surging better-farther-faster into the bloodstream?  That´s ultimately the question, isn´t it?  Since for now surfing gives me as much pain as pleasure, at best for now, I prefer skiing.  Not sure I could say that if I ripped like some of the locals around here.  Which also reminds me that coolness is often a measure of... coolness.  And the coolest surfers are waaay cooler than the coolest skiers.  For evidence, see how surf culture has influenced the midwest way more than ski culture.****  Still, it´s been fun.  Obviously, you can do both.  But the travel costs would be inevitable, prohibative for many.  I know that you can ski in Hawaii and surf in the North Atlantic, but I´m not sure why you´d want to.  In either case, you have to get it while you can.


* But surfing is harder and slower to learn.  Hands down.  For more analysis, see "cool" category in the closing paragrap.
**For the record, I use grape flavored Sticky Bumps brand wax.  You can smell the grape pixie stix smell when you mount the board.
***Not counting New Hampshire or Ireland in February where dry-suits are required.
****I use the midwest for an example, but I really mean Iowa, where there are no surfers and very few downhill skiers