"Teaching"

Office 218

℅ Emily R.

Cow Valley High School
Hinesburg, VT 05461

Dear Esteemed Colleagues:

Perhaps you know I have a "teaching" position at a small "university" in a small city in northern Ecuador.  I have "en-quoted" the words "teaching" and "university" because this place is pretty, well, lax to put it mildly.  Ecuadorians typically use the word "tranquilo" to describe this mellow approach to education, and life in general.  Obviously, if any gringo with an MA can walk of the street and pick up a teaching assignment, the place is suspect.  

Lest you envy my "teaching" position, I will now attempt to disabuse you of that notion.  

Shortly after my "boss" gave me the job ("Can you start tomorrow?"), I was given an "orientation."  My "orientation" consisted of a ten minute walk around the campus, first to the "clerical pool" and then to the "cafeteria" (which was closed… at lunch time), and then to my classroom where I was instructed how to turn on a computer and an overhead projector.  At the "clerical pool" I met Adrian, who would be binding the "textbook" for me.  I could come back and pick it up later If I'd like (when? Oh, an hour, or maybe a day).  Since I was supposed to teach the next day, I figured sooner was better than later. Adrian, though seemingly not doing anything else, was in no hurry. (After the first class, I wouldn't open the textbook again.) Bear in mind, my Spanish is not that great now, even worse at this point, so I did a lot of nodding and saying "si, si," which of course may not be the best way to understand what's going on.  

If I needed anything copied, I´d have to go to a building (I wasn't sure which) and to a person (I didn't know whom) and then return with my FACTURA (a receipt of sorts) to give to Adrian in order to obtain my copies within a day (or two).  Needless to say, I didn't get any copies made, and still haven't.  I only use the web and projector and dry-erase markers, which I had to purchase from Adrian because I had not obtained a FACTURA (from the guy I didn't know in the building I couldn't locate, or even name for that matter).

Anyhow, back to the orientation: after showing me my room, and meeting Adrian (who would charge me a dollar a marker, and no, I could not just borrow one), my "boss" took me to meet Chris, the administrative assistant, or as you can call them here in politically incorrect Ecuador, "dear," "honey," "baby," "honey-baby," "my little girl" etc.  Yes, just like at good old CVU, there is a Chris running things.  At Chris' window, I would receive my attendance sheet and sign out the keys to "my" room which after a while wasn't mine anymore -- I started getting shifted around the little campus to various other rooms, increasingly hard to find rooms.  Chris, it turns out, would be an invaluable source of information -- if only I understood what the hell she was saying!  (always nodding, "si, si").

You see, of the 30 or so class periods I've had, we've only met about 20 times.  It's no wonder no one speaks English here.  (Even at Sylvia's school, we only speak Spanish to the "English" teacher.)  And I never know from  one day to the next whether something will be cancelled, or there's some meeting, or even if the students are conning me out of class.  (In fact, as I write this, there is a meeting going on, one that I wasn't aware of until I came in to school.)  

Something was missing, and I finally put my finger on it: there's no such thing as a school calendar!  (I hear that the federal gov't dictates vacations and issues school calendars… in February.)  So in coming to the "University," I had a one in three chance of having no class on any given day.  Usually I'd find out from Chris, sometimes the students, and other times an administrator would pop in and announce a meeting.  So when I'd learn to keep an open mind when approaching Chris' window.  Generally, she tells me what's in store for the day, I say OK (which incidentally is Spanish for "OK"), and then I go to class to see if students show up.

Class starts at 9.  The first students typically show up at 9:25.  At first I was taken aback by this lack of timeliness, but I've grown to appreciate it, especially since I get that 25 minutes to plan my class.  I chastised the students the first couple of times, but soon gave up, in part because they kept showing up at 9:25, and also since I figure it's their education to take or leave.  Plus, I have not yet been paid, nor do I have a a contract, so I´m not too worried about it.  (Tranquilo, bro.)

In the first place, the whole "job" thing was supposed to help us get visas to stay here in Ecuador, a work visa that is.  But -- as I´ve found out after visiting many government ministries in Quito -- you need a contract to get a visa and a visa to get a contact.  (For more info, see visa epic struggle here: http://fargobrook.blogspot.com/2012/10/stamped.html ).  Anywho, coming to the end of the semester, we finally got some visas, but not the work kind.  Instead I had to go register for an SRI number (that's "IRS" backwards, in case you're wondering), which is so far my crowning achievement of our time here in EC.  I got my SRI number so that I can get my very own book of FACTURAS! 

Yes, FACTURAS.  Everything here runs on paper FACTURAS.  You go in a hardware store, ask for something, and the guy writes a little number on a piece of paper.  You look at it quizzically, and then he sends you over to another desk, where you hand the piece of paper to another guy, who goes and gets the gadget you may need.  But he will not give you your gadget right there, even though it's tantalizingly close.  No, he hands you another piece of paper that you again stare at until he points to the cash register.  You take your new piece of paper over there, and this is where you fork over the money.  Of course, you still don´t have your gadget, so you have to take your FACTURA over to the guy who does have your gadget.  He then presents you with the gadget only when you have presented him with your FACTURA, at which point he asks you if you yourself need a FACTURA.  If you really want to throw them for a loop, you say, "si, por favor" and wait to see what they do.

So now apply this to government offices, or institutions of higher learning.  I have purchased my very own book of FACTURAS, using my SRI number.  (To buy my FACTURAS, I had to present my FACTURA from the proper gov´t ministy, pay, obtain a FACTURA from the FACTURA store, and then give my FACTURA to the guy to get my new book of FACTURAS!)  

So, now I have my FACTURAS in hand -- pretty much a book like a waiter or waitress has -- a carbon-copy deal where you write out a price and then someone pays you.  Right now, my FACTURAS are being processed.  I can´t wait to find out how hard it will be to cash my check, if I ever get it.

How much is my "salary"?  I think it's 10 bucks an hour, but I didn't understand everything the big boss said in our "hiring" meeting.  And I have no idea what kind of idea they have for my hours.  I guess I'll find out when I get my FACTURAS back.

In the meantime, I had to teach, teach English... but in Spanish.  You can see the possible problems here.  I won't go into how close the words pena and pene are (pain and penis, respectively -- as in, "que pene! or, what a penis!), but I´ve mixed them up more times than I care to admit.  As far as "curriculum" and "assessment"-- well, apparently that was also totally up to me.  Of course I found out from Chris one day that grades were due.  Sure, I'd been keeping track of assingnments and whatnot, but I had no idea whether they had tests, or participation or really what to figure into the "notas" or grades.  (That was not covered in my "orientation".)

So I asked my boss.  Figuring I would make it easy for her, I asked three specific questions, very insightful and intelligent professional questions, I might add.  Her answer, apparently to all of them at once, was, "yes" ("OK, si, si") -- which is weird since at least two of them were mutually exclusive, this-or-that questions.  So I figured that translated to "do whatever the hell you want."  So I did what I´m most comfortable doing:  I just made some shit up and turned it in.  I didn't know where to turn it in, so I gave it to Chris.  The kids haven't harassed me for grades, so I figure it's all good.

For their part, the students are just like any other students: funny, mischievous, slackers who are sometimes earnest (or earnest students who sometimes slack).  They are awesome.  But after about the second assignment where I received the exact same thing from multiple students, I decided to address the issue of plagiarism.  

Ultimately, this was a lost cause. (for an extended tirade, see: http://fargobrook.blogspot.com/2012/12/piracy.html )  I knew that for sure when I brought it up with the boss.  "What's the problem?" she asked.  I figured that if I had to explain it, it was a deeper issue than I could address.  So now I only give out creative assignments like poems and stories and interpretive dances.  I also figure that there is an significant difference between college kids who are paying for a course, and younger adolescents who have parents demanding explanations for everything (which, by the way I do not miss).

As weird as it may sound coming from me, the whole thing sure has made me appreciate structure and expectations a little bit more.  I could have quit (like the guy before me, I found out), but I wanted to see the class through.  Kids are essentially the reason I've stayed in it -- aren't they always?  It's the best Spanish class I could've taken.  I tell them that I've learned more from them than they from me, and it's absolutely true. 

I hope all is well at CVU.  We all miss VT, but we are doing well... aside from teaching that is.

Ciao ciao!

--Justin